-Dave the Barber
Follow me on twitter: @Res4six
Thursday September 3rd, 2015:
Game 1: UNC @ USC (Neutral Site: Bank of America Stadium, Charlotte, NC)
“Whooooo!” – Rick Flair
When I was 16 my mom and her new husband uprooted me from Wilmington Delaware (20 minutes outside of Philly) to Concord North Carolina. I graduated from Northwest Cabarrus High School located in the sprawling metropolis of Kannapolis. Kannapolis is home to former FSU RB Nick Maddox and a certain NASCAR God known as the Intimidator. I think that band The Avett Brothers is from there as well. Maybe Concord, I’m not 100% on that but I digress, who cares. Point is, those are the only three good things that ever came out of North Carolina, well four if you count Sun Drop.
This game falls in line with the general rule that most things from North Kakalak are worthless garbage. This is why:
This year the Tarholes hired Gene Chizik to fix the defense. Chizik brought the Tampa 2 to Auburn back in the early 00’s and then bought won a National Championship with Cam Newton in 2010. Thing is, UNC doesn’t have the horses that Auburn did back in 00’ or in 10’ (they were just “Ight” that year). Expect a sorry defense that returns four starters and zero blue chips (unless true Freshman Jalen Dalton cracks the two deep, then one blue chip) to be sorry again.
South Carolina is equally worthless and the thought of these two bum teams kicking off the season only confirms to me that the NCAA hates us and wants us to die slow boring deaths Clockwork Orange style, while watching garbage like this. Remember last year when the SEC hype machine duped national media cronies into legitimizing the Cocks’ #9 overall preseason ranking? Then remember how they got their asses stomped in front of the entire country by a team led by a guy that drank his way out of Johnny Manzeil’s alma mater? Yeah well you get to watch those bums again this year.
South Carolina has one notable player on offense, Pharoh Cooper, and one notable player on defense, Skai Moore. This team isn’t very good. But hey, don’t take my word for it ask their coach.
Anyway, we will all be watching this game for two reasons. Number one, it is the first meaningful Power 5 game and number two, the alternative 6PM game, UCF v. UFI, is even worse. Since we all are going to be forced to watch this game due to a lack of alternatives here are some things to look forward to: Utah v. Michigan at 8:30 PM on Fox Sports.
MICHIGAN @ UTAH, 8:30PM EST (Rice-Eccles Stadium, Salt Lake City, Utah) on Fox Sports 1.
This is real football right here. This is Jim Harbaugh’s debut at the helm of the Wolverines. But this is the Utes’ game to show the country they are a legit force in the Pac-12. This is Utah Ute Devontae Booker’s time to run into your living room and tag his name all over your household. I expect Utah to win this game and here is why:
Per Maize and Brew, Jim Harbaugh sent Utah the Michigan depth chart today. There is a big bold “or” in-between the names Jack Rudock and Shane Morris. The last time we saw the highly touted 4 star Shane Morris in action he got his wig pushed back against the Golden Gophers. Unfazed by this, then head coach Brady Hoke decided that the concussion protocol was more of a guideline than a bright line rule and sent Shane Morris back into the game with an impact brain injury. That’s the last we saw of Shane Morris. As of now it is unclear if Morris or Rudock will start but what is clear is that not having a clear starter enter the first game of the year doesn’t bode well for your chances of winning.
Speaking of quarterbacks with impact brain injuries, Travis Wilson has fought his way back from one he sustained his Sophomore season. Last year he was inconsistent and ended up losing his job in the middle to later part of last season. An unfortunate ACL tear suffered by his replacement Kendall Thompson against Oregon, opened the door back up for Wilson, who played well down the stretch including a 45-10 drubbing of Colorado State in the Royal Purple Las Vegas Bowl.
The going won’t be easy against a stingy Michigan Defense that returns 24 of the 29 players from its 2014 two-deep depth chart, led by All-World true sophomore SS Jabril Peppers. The problem last year was that the Michigan offense was ranked at the bottom of the country. They lost Devin Funchess to the NFL and the players they throw out against the Utes are unproven at best. I think Michigan’s defense keeps them in this thing for the first three quarters with Utah pulling away in the fourth.
TCU @ MINNESOTA (TCF Bank Stadium, Minneapolis, Minnesota) 9PM on ESPN
I have a fantasy draft in a half hour so I’m just going to dial this one in and tell you what you already know. TCU is going to smash Minnesota in their own house. They return 10 starters on an Offense that nobody could stop last season. To be fair, Minnesota actually held them to their lowest point total of the season, 30 points. Look for Trevone Boykin to go to Josh Docston and company early and often in this one. I expect a blow out, as we all should.